my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
