Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
