this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
