New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
