New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
