Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
