I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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