at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
