my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
