Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
