hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and she was petting her beer can
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize