drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've blown a few things in my day
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
