How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
