wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
