Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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