i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
