it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
