he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
