$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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