8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
