I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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