Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
