drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
