You're completely useless in the revolution.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
