Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
