my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize