My first STD was from a foam party
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
