I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
