I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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