new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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