super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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