you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
