she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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