And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
