my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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