Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
