I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
