I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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