I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
