she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
