i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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