You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
