Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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