Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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