He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
