Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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