at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
