we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
