Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
