I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
