So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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