He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize