i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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