I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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