we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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