turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
