btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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