There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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