Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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