No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
