Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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