Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
