i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
