when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
