If i come over, it means nothing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
