the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize